The Breakfast Club Sandwich

Ah the deceptively named Breakfast Club Sandwich - It resides at a relatively new breakfast/brunch/lunch place in Camden Passage called 'The Breakfast Club'. Using my keen sandwich sensing abilities I quickly discerned that this was not in fact a sandwich of the house, but was in fact a club sandwich! The fact that it wasn't called a breakfast club club sandwich was simply a clever shortening only the finest of sandwich crafters could possibly have thought of!

I was right. I could spend a long time writing a poem about this sandwich, I could gush about how it made me feel like a child again, I could compare it to sex. But I won't, it would only make my love-life seem dull and sandwichless. Chicken, bacon, mayo, lettuce and tomato, these were the building blocks of this miraculous work. Commonplace, yes, but of such quality and in such abundance that the delicious, thick bread struggled to contain them, a feat made possible by large amounts of gooey, melted cheese. The side-salad was perfect, great if you want a bit of extra greenery in your sandwich, but not so much of it that you feel obligated to be healthy. It comes with three huge potato wedges and a side of homemade coleslaw. This is the kind of sandwich that leaves your friends wandering how someone like you, a fool who ordered a sandwich when everyone else was ordering a full English, ever managed to come out on top. With their plates still full they will discuss when they can next frequent The Breakfast Club so that they too may indulge in the miracle-sandwich that you, a true pioneer, will always have experienced first. Now stand. Stand and laugh. WHO'S THE FOOL NOW? You just won friend... you just won lunch-time.

The Breakfast Club is located at 31 Camden Passage, Islington, London. The Club Sandwich is £6.50 and it is very much worth it, wedges are optional but everyone will judge you and point if you don't get them.

Engineering the Sandwich, Lesson 1 - Planning.

If you think you can get away without planning your Sandwiches before you make them, you need to seriously re-think the way you do things. We're here to enlighten you on some of the issues that inexperienced makers encounter that can be seriously detrimental to the enjoyment of your Sandwich. These issues often go unnoticed and only crop up mid consumption. Below are a number of breifly outlined topics. These will of course be covered in more detail in the future.

Bread Choice - "Absorption, disintegration rates, squish factor, minimising your corners and What to do if you find excess crust."

The Mighty Two - "Challah and Pitta, leavened versus un-leavened and the contribution of the Jew to modern day sandwich making."

Dips - "why you might want these on standby. Which to use and when to use them."

Slicing Technique - "How to break bad habits and develop a style that works for you and your Sandwich."

Sandwich Form - "Thinking beyond the standard double layered, single filled variety"

Ingredient Blending - "Creating new, successful combinations and finding the right kitchen environment to accomplish this.

Clubbing Sandwich-Style at the Boston Tea Party

Now I couldn't recommend the Boston Tea Party enough, they're a really great little chain of Bristol based coffee shops. Cosy, friendly. They do good, strong coffee and a multitude of snacks as well as a good brunch/lunch menu. If a friend was to ask where to take a date in the day-time, I might say, 'hey, how about the Boston Tea Party? It's a casual little place. Get a drink, there's food if you want it... etc.' I would still agree with this, that is of course, unless their date happens to like club sandwiches as much as I do. This was, especially compared to their other food, very dissapointing. The bread was cardboardy, tasteless white toast. There was chicken, bacon and mayo, but only at the center of the sandwich, the remaining square-inchage of bread being filling-less. A crime, such a crime! There was also no salad, but a single slice of solitary, sad beef tomato hung, drawn, quatered and distributed sparsely over the four triangles of this sandwich... Also, it came with crisps. This... I mean... why. Why? Why would a person do this kind of thing to another HUMAN being. Honestly, what the hell is happening to the world? Does no one respect or understand the sanctity of this golden rule? The whole point of a club sandwich is that it's the one sandwich on a menu that is an entire and full meal, it is supposed to go beyond being a sandwich, transcend it's class and create an entire new food goup. Ladies and Gentlemen, a club sandwich, this was not.

I still can't knock the Boston Tea Party as a great place to grab a quick coffee and a bite, but, and it pains me greatly to say it, get the soup.

Also on a side note, the chai latte was so sugery I thought my eyeballs were going to explode through the back of my head. In comparison the hot-chocolate would make an excellent (and delicious) savoury choice.

The (nicest branch) of The Boston Tea Party is located on Park Street in Bristol. The sandwich costs some money, (someone else bought it for me). It gets one extra point because it has a cool name. BUT IT GETS NO ADDITIONAL POINTS FOR CLUB SANDWICHES!

The White Lion Club

Is there anything better than a club sandwich with chips when you're hungry? No, there is not. This does usually come with crisps, however the waitress was no match for Boy Sandwich's charm and sex appeal. What can I say, when I order a sandwich, I order it right. The sandwich is of the classic tripple-breaded, double-fill variety containing bacon, chicken, mayo, salad and cheese. The side salad was good and the chips were excellent. My only criticism was the bread. I suppose plain white doesn't detract from a sandwich, but it just doesn't add anything either. Oh and our waitress forgot to bring cutlery leaving me to eat the side salad sensually with my fingers. Yes, I could have got some myself, but it's just not my style. Boy Sandwich is very, very lazy.

This sandwich can be found at The White Lion pub in Clifton and costs £6.50, you can also get a cheezy meatball sub for the same price - review coming soon.

Sandwich Statement: When you eat this sandwich you are saying one thing and one thing only: You know what you want, and what you want is a sandwich.

Engineering the Sandwich No. 1

The Mark 1 Refrigerator Raider

Today's Players are the illustrious and industrious Boy Sandwich and of course his usual co sandwich-architect, Brother Sandwich.

Ingredients:
Thick white bread - 3 pieces
Ham
Salami
Cheddar Cheese (Mature)
Gherkins
Thickly Sliced tomatoes
Mayonnaise

The Method:
This really is one from the vaults, constructed years ago before we thought to take our sandwich-craft to the masses.

Take the three pieces of bread and spread the mayonnaise on one side of two pieces, and both sides of one piece (the middle piece). Next Slice the Cheese, Gherkins and Tomatoes and place half of them onto the bottom layer along with a layer of salami. Next, add the middle slice, finally adding the rest of the ingredients, not forgetting the ham.

The Result:





Ah, Brother Sandwich, you used to look so young...

Eating Style:
Basic:
Place your hands on the four and eight o'clock sandwich positions, then eat without taking them off the sandwich or moving them.
Advanced:
One sandwich in each hand, each to be consumed in no more than five bites. Don't worry ladies, it all goes straight to the guns.

Respect:
We tested this sandwich in public, and women did swoon, but perhaps not as much as we would have liked, back to the drawing board. Three and a half Pimp Sandwiches out of five.


Next on Sandwitechture: The Long Rider...